How to Hide a Bong: 13 Best Ways
A bong is not the type of accessory you would naturally lay around for everyone to see.
But knowing where to hide one, be it from nosy parents, siblings, relatives, or any non-smoker really, can feel like pulling off a side mission in a game.
Yes, bongs can be ample in size, peculiar in shape, and delicate in material, and keeping yours safe - and out of sight - can be trickier to handle.
Don’t fret, we have just the guide you need below.
13 Best Ways to Hide Your Bong
Here are 13 clever ways to ensure your bong is safe, secure, and well-hidden, every time.
1. A Computer Tower Case
An unused computer tower case, or any non-transparent tower case, can make the perfect hiding corner for your bong.
Tower cases can easily fit an entire bong and also suppress the smell. You can also store an older tower case in your closet or under your bed, and keep your goods closer.
A smart tip— choose an unused tower case, or empty out an old one and clean it well before storing the bong.
2. Cardboard Boxes
An equally practical way to store your bong is to use a larger cardboard box. Think, an Xbox box (try saying that five times fast!) or a PS5 box.
Both work because they are sturdy, big enough for most bongs, and can be quite unassuming when stored on a shelf.
One thing to remember is to always store the box in a dry place, and away from pets and pests.
3. Instrument Case
If you are a musical wizard with an instrument case on hand, you can easily hide your bong inside it.
A good instrument case would be a guitar, a trumpet, or a saxophone case- they are bigger and steadier, made of durable materials, and of course, they rarely cause any suspicion.
But, make sure you air the case once the bong is out, so the possible smell doesn’t linger on.
4. A Suitcase or Your Luggage
Whenever you are not traveling, you can use a suitcase as a hiding place for your bong.
Larger-size luggage works like a charm for hiding a bong since it’s discrete rarely moved from its place, and usually put away under the bed, over the cabinet, etc.
Ideally, you need a suitcase that hasn’t been in use for a while, so you don’t accidentally send your bong off on your next trip.
5. A Backpack or a Duffle Bag
A more obvious yet efficient place to keep your bong hidden is the good old backpack.
In fact, any duffle bag big enough for the bong can do the trick, but an older backpack that doesn’t get that much attention or use will be the perfect fit.
6. Someone Else’s House
Here’s a wild idea. If you have a buddy whose parents or partner are more open-minded towards bongs, you can keep yours there.
Now, this might mean the bong will be used once or twice when you’re not there, but hey, at least you are in the clear, right?
7. Shed or Garage
A superb hiding spot for your bong is also the shed or the garage - assuming you have either at disposal. Keep in mind that garages are often more used than sheds, so they might be problematic for hiding a bong well enough.
A shed, on the other hand, requires going back and forth to take the bong out, use it, then hide it again, so a darker garage corner might work better.
8. Guitar Amp or Speaker Box
Similar to the computer tower and the instrument cases, a guitar amplifier or a speaker box can make the best secret spot for your bong.
Whilst both help keep your bong close and safe from exposure at the same time, it is not recommended to opt for a subwoofer, since the strong bass vibrations might crack the bong.
9. Onion-Style Hiding
If you are running out of places to hide your bong, try the old-school route - onion-style hiding. What you essentially do is wrap the bong in a thicker towel, place the wrap inside an unused bag, and then place that bag inside a big-enough box.
Store the box in the closet, under the bed, in the garage, or wherever else, and enjoy the full Matryoshka doll effect.
10. Golf Bag
A golf bag is excellent at hiding bongs. With a decent size, a sturdy structure, and thick fabric, a golf bag ensures bong discretion, seclusion, and safety.
And whilst a golf bag is big enough for both your bong and clubs, it’s wiser to keep an older golf bag for bong storage so you won’t move the items around too much or break the bong in the process.
11. Behind Books on a Bookshelf
An obvious place for your bong is behind the books on your bookshelf.
But the hiding aspect here will depend on the number of books that are in front of the bong, their height, and the bookshelf location and angle.
This is not the best idea for those who are strict about keeping their bong away from exposure, but it can work if you don’t mind people noticing it on occasion.
12. Underwear Drawer
An underwear drawer is the most private place you’ll have in your home. So, this makes it the best home for your bong.
Your intimates drawer is safe, secure, fitting, and probably smells nice. If your drawer is not as deep or big, opt for a smaller bong, or switch the hiding location.
13. Drop Ceiling Tiles in the Basement
Ceiling tiles have been the ultimate hiding spot for all sorts of items, and bongs are no exception.
The best way to pull this off is to drop a ceiling tile in the basement - fewer people means fewer risks of being busted - and stack the bong in the empty space. Place the tile back and there you go - good as new.
While ceiling tiles work to an extent, remember that there are still unwanted sounds and carrying the bong around to worry about.
Hiding Your Bong is Half the Battle - What about the Smell?
You may hide and air your bong all you want, the smell will be tedious to get rid of.
So, what do you do to complete the task of making your bong invisible yet reachable? Here are some solutions that make for an odorless bong.
A Smell-Proof Bag
A smell-proof bag, vacuumed or air-tight, can do wonders for removing the smell of weed. Smell-proof bags are affordable, available in various sizes, don’t make as much noise, and double as a way to store your weed.
They don’t have to be transparent and are super-easy to wash and reuse.
Clean Your Bong after Every Use
Regularly cleaning your bong is the safest bet against eliminating the recognizable smell.
First, dismount the bong and set the removable pieces aside. Next, pour isopropyl alcohol - 91% to 99% - into the bong (or bong cleaner), and add Epsom salt to work as the abrasive.
Shake the solution several times over 5 minutes. When done, rinse with soap and warm water and dry off.
An Indoor Compost Bin + Charcoal Filters
And finally, a great way to seclude a bong is to use an indoor compost bin and charcoal filters.
Typically, indoor compost bins are practical and small-sized, and already have built-in charcoal filters, which helps keep your bong both hidden and odorless and gives you the best of both worlds.